What's in a place?
by Kuri333
Summary: He thought he would never come back here.   What a stupid idea that had been. He had always come here, over and over, through the years. And almost each time he had thought it would be the last, and he had been mistaken.


_What's in a place?_

He thought he would never come back here.

What a stupid idea that had been. He had always come here, over and over, through the years. It was as if he was attached to the place in a way he did not understand. And almost each time he had thought it would be the last, and he had proven to be mistaken.

There had been that last full moon. How odd it was for him to remember it as such. He knew back then it would not be the last full moon. There never would be such a thing.

And yet he remembered it that way. His stripping off his school uniform – and that indeed was to be the last time –, his looking at his own body, his human grown-up body, right before it became something else, his pain right afterwards. And all around it, the peeling walls and destroyed furniture of the Shrieking Shack.

The morning after, he thought he would never come back. What had given him that idea?

Maybe it had been the beaming faces of James, Sirius and Peter. Maybe his own hopeless optimism, of which almost nothing was left now, of finishing school and having the future lying ahead.

In his memories afterwards, it all had became a unit and whenever he thought about the Shrieking Shack, he would not remember the pain, or his own blood on the floor and walls, but the eager expressions of his three friends, planning ahead or remember their last nightly escapade.

His next time there had been some years later. So much had happened since, Remus had been all but eager to erase his memories of the past on the place and replace them by new ones.

He had looked for some time alone; he was in desperate need for a new path, a new reason, a new life. Why going back on a full moon to transform in the Shrieking Shack, instead of his parent's house, seemed like a good place to start, he did not know.

James was dead, Peter was dead, Sirius… it would have been better for him to be dead too. And him, Remus? Maybe, he thought before the pain and the cursed body took over his senses, he deserved to be dead as well.

When he had woken up there had not been memories anymore but ghosts. Unfriendly shadows chasing after him, daring him to go on without them. To cope with the fact that he had been left behind and that it was better that way.

It had been much longer a time until he had come here next. His hair was greying, his body increasingly thin, and for the first time in years, his mad search of his own path had ended in something that could be a start.

And yet, the ghosts had been there as well, one much more sharp than the other two, maybe because it was no ghost at all, but a very much alive soul, dangerously wandering not only his mind but the real world as well.

He had not come to the Shrieking Shack to transform this time. A fantastic new potion he would never had thought possible was keeping him from needing to be here at all. And still he had come. Had it been nostalgia? Some odd want to see those ghosts again? Masochism? Or maybe he just had wanted to make sure Sirius was not using this place for his Dark Arts. Maybe because he did not need to. Maybe because the place held still some meaning to him as well? That idea was so ridiculous he dismissed it at once.

Almost no time later, he had been here yet again. And it had been a full moon as well. Too bad he had realised it only too late.

Afterwards, and despite all his many regrets, the place had became inextricably linked to two presences: Sirius, almost as if he had reborn, nor as a ghost but as a very real friend; and Harry, which in a way was another friend, his father, coming back to life through him, if only in Remus' mind.

Some years had passed. Not too many. His life has changed so much again.

He had needed a place to stay, a place to live, a place to think, and remember. And maybe even a place to hope and wish. And somehow, his steps and his wand had taken him to this house, as if he belonged to it.

Now the Shrieking Shack would be linked to her, even if he could not see her yet. To Tonks, knocking loudly, and then waiting outside for him to open the door. Hoping, knowing he would be there.

Then she had opened the door, and if it had been any doubt in Remus' mind about who it was, the clear shadow on the hall floorboards, visible from his spot on the landing, was unmistakable.

And he knew that, no matter what would happen next, her imprint would stay on the place, just the way it lingered on his memory.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This one-shot is stand alone, but it happens during chapter 80 of 'Tonks' Tale'. If you're ignoring the hint (<em>come on, read it! cough cough<em>), you just need to know it happens after Remus finishes his mission with the werewolves, and right before the battle at Hogwarts (HBP).**

**As usual, I don't own the characters, nor the places, although I wish I had the Shrieking Shack!**


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